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Aloha, I'm Nancy, a blue-eyed kamaaina. I look as haole as they come but
am definitely a Hawaiian at heart. I've been asked to share with you today,
my reason for living and I want to tell you why I chose Hawaii twice as my
home and the house for my children.
I grew up under the wisdom of a Godly mother who set the spiritual tone
for us. She often asked me to brush her hair while she told me Bible stories
and stories of her beloved prairie home of the midwest USA.
I was born and raised in Salem, Oregon where children learn the lessons of hard work. My
folks bought a small 5 acre farm where we raised fruits, nuts, veggies, and
livestock. Often we worked for others picking berries, beans and hops, and
at age 16 we were liberated to the canneries to work for a wage.
I was active in high school and played clarinet in the band Mother masterminded a
plan to see that I could go to college. Now I chose a different college but
mother thought it was much too far away from home. I obeyed my mother and
went close to home. I didnııt know then much about Godıs will for my life,
but looking back I can see Godıs perfect plan was to obey my mother.
While at college I met a young man nearly 8 years my senior, who fell
in love with me. I was only 19 and my only prerequisites for a husband was
that he didn't drink, didn't smoke and didn't swear. Those were decided on
when I was about 12 and I never wavered. Paul had finished his tour of
duty in the Navy while in Hawaii, had become a Christian and felt called to
minister here in the Islands.
So he was in his last year of college,
preparing himself for his life's calling. He knew he needed a wife, a young
one that he could mold and shape to fit his needs. So he baited me with
thoughts of Hawaii to call home. My first choice, yes to marriage and yes to
Hawaii. Less than 2 years after our wedding I find myself on a 10 hour
flight to Honolulu and pregnant.
Our first son, Kenneth was born in Lihu'e,
Kauai, healthy and such a joy to both of us. I found motherhood agreed with
me completely and I felt such a responsibility to raise him in a Godly
atmosphere with respect for family and our country. That was the heritage I
had learned from my dear Christian mother.
My husband Paul and I worked diligently for the Lord on building a home
mission church with many locals, Richard Nii's, Melvin Dang's, Kawaguchi's,
Nada's, Soto's, Kanda's, Motera's, Matoba's, Fuji's, Valdez's to mention a
few.
We started services in Hanapepe Rec. center and in 9 weeks our building
was up. While building the church I found myself pregnant again. Those were
the days when you didn't choose to become pregnant but rather the Lord
"blessed" you again.
In fact, the nurses at Wilcox hospital would bid you
their "aloha" with "see you again next year."
Paul and I decided we needed a vacation after 18 months of concentrated
efforts of building a church. We held our VBS and then flew to Oıahu for a
week.
Soon after we arrived, Paul became very ill. Now earlier Paul had
warned me that God told him he would not live to be 33 years old. Of course
I didnıt believe him but it proved to be true.
I admitted him to Tripler
Army hospital and within 3 days he died of polio. What a shock!
I found myself a widow at 22 years of age, 5 months pregnant, a 14 month
old son, and 2,200 miles away from home.
We held a memorial service on
Kaua'i, a funeral on O'ahu and another funeral on the mainland. All
together, they were almost more than I could bear. My ever present thought
during those days was "how do non-Christian people get through these grief
stricken days?"
I was so thankful I knew Jesus as my personal friend. A
young medic at Tripler called me in the middle of the night to tell me my
husband had died. My mind was stunned but I ran into the bedroom where I was
staying and picked up my sleeping baby and cuddled him to my breast and I
asked God, "If you knew this was going to happen to me, why did you allow me
to get pregnant?" It was as if an audible voice said, "your son needs a
blood-brother or sister."
The answer satisfied me and I stood up well under
that horrible shadow of grief.
Within 5 days, baby Kenny and I were accompanying his daddyıs body home
to Seattle and on to Central Washington and the Okanogan country that he
knew and loved as well.
It was hard to face Paulıs daddy who was over 80
years old and was taking it so hard. Paul was his fatherıs "gift from God"
born to him after he was 50. We buried Paul in the rolling hills over
looking the little country town where he was born and raised.
Then I had to get on to the business of making a life for myself with
Kenny boy (my friends put boy (girl) after his name, which I learned later
was a local endearment to a child that's loved.) also I must find a doctor
to care for me during my last months of pregnancy.
A young Hawaiian boy (carefree and witty) was given my church in Hawaii
to pastor until he returned to college in California in the fall.
We
corresponded over such things as "where in the world were the offering
plates?" "O, they were my salad bowls and were shipped back with my things."
We kept things lighthearted but between the lines, we began to care!
The Hawaiian accompanied Kenny boy and myself back to O'ahu for the
funeral. As we were seated on the plane, the stewardess handed Kenny boy a
small plastic wings as a junior pilot and said, "Here, have your daddy pin
this on you."
We both looked in amazement, if only she knew how prophetic
she was.
When school began in September, my father found a job teaching at
American River Junior College in Sacramento.
So once again we moved while my
Hawaiian friend was flying to Pasadena Nazarene College to finish his last
year.
Nov. 6, my day to give birth finally arrived. I did it all by myself and
with the doctor's help Christopher Paul was born very sickly.
The doctorıs
tried their best but at 36 hours I lost him!
But, God, what about my
question and even more what about your answer?
Someone said, "Paul needed a
little one in heaven while I had my Kenny boy with me". The theology didnıt
seem right but strangely, the thought comforted my grief stricken motherly
instinct.
God gave me a simple poem that has comforted me over the years.
I'm not a poet but here it is..
"Lent unto us but for a day,
Now with his father in heaven to stay"
Is he still a baby--a cherub in heaven or is he all grown up, a fine
young man?
Weıre caught up with such earthly questions but I'm so excited to
get to heaven to find out.
But the story doesn't end here. God's perfect will was still being
worked out in my life.
Up to this point, Godıs will seemed to be crashing
down around my ankles. But I never gave up. I prayed, "Not my will but thy
will be done Lord in me."
My dear mother felt despondency and she encouraged me to visit the
beauty shop and "letıs both go on a diet," she said, knowing I wanted to
tone up after the baby.
By January I was mentally ready to enroll in college
again. with God's help I was bouncing back like a rubber band.
Yes, the Hawaiian and I kept corresponding off and on.
He was so gentle,
considerate and showed his love for God. In April I had an opportunity to
drive my brother to Pasadena College to look over the campus.
Secretly I
had something else to look over.
The day on campus began with a chapel
service. I spotted Hotch in a suit and tie ushering toward the back. He
looked swell. I waited till chapel was over, bid my brother, "see you
later," and started up the aisle where "he" was standing.
He didnıt know I
was coming and when he saw me charging up the aisle, he opened his arms and
I grabbed him tight.
We both shook with excitement. Those 2 days together
canıt be described. Just let me say, they were the start of something big.
As Hotch and I parted, we vowed that we would see one another again
sometime.
That weekend just wasn't enough. As summer came, Hotch was ready
to go home for the last time. How could we make that last meeting?
I had a
little VW and a brother who wanted to go to Oregon to work so Hotch decided
to go with us and be our driver.
We spent 2 beautiful months together, Kenny
boy, Hotch and I. During that time, we fell in love. The baby and I got our
first glimpse of Disneyland and that describes our whole summer.
By August he asked me to be his wife and move to Hawaii again. Lord how
can this be, a second chance in Hawaiıi.
I said yes, with a bit of
reservation. This had all gone so fast (victory over the bugs). Let's put
the Lord and our feelings for each other to a test.
I'll stay with my folks
and go to College for one more semester while he goes home to Hawai'i, finds
a job and a house for us.
If feelings cool down, we'll call it quits, but
instead we both felt sure that this was what God wanted for our lives.
The rest is history. We've been married 21 years and the honeymoon is
not over yet.
Anybody who knows me will tell you how much I love him. Weıve
pastored over 20 years and when I found Wahiawa over 14 1/2 years, Hotch and
I both say, only God could take me away from here.
We've pastored over 24
years and here we are back on our beautiful Kaua'i.
Hotch rose to the challenge of raising Kenny boy and God gave us 3 more
children. Kealani is 20, will be a junior in Pt. Loma College in San Diego.
and I will say she has exceeded every expectation I have ever held for her.
Our son, Kordell is nearly 19 and finished his freshman year at the same
College with his sister. He's the kind of son I would wish for each of
you--one who loves to lay across the king sized bed and have nice long talks
with his mom.
Then there's Kristen, our Downs Syndrome child.
When I found myself
pregnant again, I was very upset.
I already had 3 little ones and felt so
inadequate for carrying another. The chid was very quiet in my womb just as
Christopher had been, which gave me a warning.
I mentioned to the labor room
nurse, "I think there's something wrong with this baby!" She tried to
reassure me. I really believe God was preparing me.
At her birth it was a
moment that lasted an eternity before she took her first breath. The nurses
worked over her and then said, "She has extra digits on both hands," which
meant she was born with extra thumbs.
The doctor took a good look at the
baby and then stared at me. I knew there was something wrong. They wheeled
me to my room and gave me something strong to sleep. God came into that room
and rocked me to sleep-- my precious heavenly father.
I woke up to the voice
of the baby's pediatrician. "I'm sorry to have to tell you Mrs. Kekoa that
your baby is a Downs Syndrome (or mongoloid) .
I doubt very seriously that
she'll live through the day. Her heart is enlarged and one lung is
collapsed."
Her hands are very peculiar, kinda witchy. She is a freak of nature.
Oh
how my heart ached for that who was our flesh and blood, but I was relieved
at the thought that she didnıt stand a chance.
I was convinced it would be
better that way. By the second day, I completely abandoned her from my mind.
My doctor let me go home and without a look in the nursery, they wheeled me
to the front door and my waiting car.
At home, I begged Hotch to take down
the crib, I emptied the baby dresser of all the newborn clothes. I even gave
the layette set I had made, to another expectant mother in our church.
As
far as I was concerned, she didnıt exist. Hotch continued to visit his tiny
daughter in the hospital, who was surprising everyone by pulling through the
difficult moments and even began to gain weight.
We had made her a ward of
the Queenıs hospital, so her bed was free and she was under the care of the
house doctor.
Our pediatrician talked to the house doctor saying if the baby
is ever able to be released, please let our doctor know first.
The mother
has rejected the baby and will need a few hours to prepare herself. Well, it
didn't happen that way.
The phone rang on the Saturday before Christmas, right during the
children's program practice.
It was Queen's hospital. The baby was 11 days
old and ready to come home. My mind was a blank. I found some little clothes
in the packed boxes and my sister-in-law, Lil drove me to the hospital.
I
watched the nurse dress that little dis-raggy lump of humanity and then she
handed me the baby.
Oh, I wanted to drop her and run. This was the deepest
valley I had ever tried to cross. Even God seemed a million miles away at
this point. Can't pray for yourself.
Back in the car, my sister-in-law ooohed and aaahed over the baby.
She
was so interested in her extra thumbs while they were a source of irritation
to me.
We drove home to a proud daddy and all the excited brothers and
sister and cousins. They thought she was beautiful while I was becoming more
and more upset by it all.
I got through the night and the childrenıs Sunday school program the
next day before I collapsed.
I begged my husband to do something. Anything!!
You must remember, we are from two different cultures.
He was so willing to
accept at face value and the same attitude showed in my Hawaiian sister-law,
Lil. But to me - it was a blow, I couldnıt tolerate.
I set up such a tension headache-upset stomach and was completely
immobile.
An angel from heaven came into my bedroom when my sister-in-law
came in after church, sat down beside me and whispered, "Would you like to
take the baby home with me?"
What a God send! "Would you?" Here's some
clothes, her formula, basket and all.
Bless you my sister-in-law.
During the week, we visited them, and I saw how they loved their baby,
so excited when she drank an ounce of milk.
On Christmas day they came over
for dinner. They set the sleeping baby in her basket under the Christmas
tree.
I secretly sneaked in to see the darling baby so innocent and content.
By the next Sunday I was willing to share the baby and have her be our
"child."
She came home to us, but even today she is "our child," and not
long ago Kristen said to me, "Aunty come over, Auntie loves me!" "Yes,
Kristen, Aunty does love you, mommie loves you, and Jesus loves you."
(Introduced LIL) she's my prayer partner today, eternally grateful,
special bond between us - goes beyond in-laws- share the love of Jesus, goes
beyond Hawaiian and Haole - my family.
At our marriage I sang to Hotch from
the Bible- The great love story, "Whither thou goest, I will go, Whither
thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, Thy God, my God."
This is my story about Hawaii--twice by choice.
I'm living out God's
perfect plan for me. There's nothing more exciting than watching each day
unfold as part of that perfect plan.
God has a perfect plan for you too. Are
you living it?
You know you can. Jesus took the first step. He died on the
Cross and paid the price for your salvation.
All you must do is accept Jesus
as the Lord of your life. Confess your sins to Him and consecrate everything
you posses. You must be willing to do what he asks.
Then watch as He begins
to work out His perfect plan for you.
Take my word for it!
It's exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nancy Kekoa
July 10, 1981
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